Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Thanksgiving… that day we all pig out on domesticated bird, breads and gravy. Where we might watch football on the television or throw the ball around the yard. Or maybe just sit and talk with friends and/or family.

Thanksgiving, traditionally, is a harvest festival that commemorates the feasts shared by the Pilgrims with the American Indians. The Indians had taught the Pilgrims how to plant crops and hunt wild game when they have come to North America and without the Indians, the Pilgrims would have undoubtedly died that first winter.

Today we honor Thanksgiving as a day a “thanks giving day.” A day for all of us to remember what we have to be thankful for! A day where we can look at everyone or thing around us and just find goodness in what you see.

I struggle a lot with depression, anxiety and just being happy in general. I think really, a lot of us get so caught up in those things that much as unhappy or dissatisfied that we tend to forget the positives and goodness around us.

Those people who grew up with you. Those people around you. The places you may have lived. The clothing you may have worn. The food you may have eaten. The place you are now.

You may not have loved those people who grew up with you or lived with you or around you. But they played a role in who you are now! You may not have liked where you lived or where you are now, but you had a place! You may not have liked your cloths, but you had something to wear! You may not have liked the food, but you had something in your belly!

I find my mind this week pulling up thoughts and images of a lot of things. As I grew up I always said I wanted to live a life without regrets. But it always felt that I was only seeing regrets! But later when I’d look back on them and see how things had shaped me, I found myself thinking – its not all for the worst. Yeah I would regret the event, but the result in my life was something to be thankful for.

Like my sexual molestation six years ago. If you’d asked me then if I was thankful it happened, I probably would have socked you in the face. But that event (once I had healed from the mental wounds) actually opened a lot of doors for me to talk to other people who had been in similar situations.

Or I could look at how it pushed me into playing my first mmo in which I sought an escape from reality and met two friends who would a year later keep me from committing suicide (simply because they showed they cared about me and loved me for who I was and made themselves a constant presence in my life). And who would lead me to playing world of warcraft three years ago where I’ve since met many new and wonderful people.

I could look at my time as an intern at Disney and think about all the terrible things I went through while there. Or I could look at it and realize how it opened my mind to other people and what they believe. It created a sensitivity to others that I hadn’t had growing up in a conservative home. I learned it was ok to be different, to believe in other things.

I could look at how I don’t have people to do things locally anymore since moving back to my parents home. But then I never would have the time I do now to spend it online leading the FB. I wouldn’t have developed the friendships or connections there that I have. I wouldn’t have met such wonderful people that I know now and talk to.

If not for video games, I doubt I would be writing this now. I doubt I would have ever considered being anything but a follower and never a leader. I doubt I would have been very talkative.

I can look at many things in my life and find all the negatives. I could pounce on them and blow them up or I can be thankful for the things that have happened, the bad and the good, and think about how they’ve helped play a part in who I am today.

I think I’m not alone in this. I think that a lot of folks will find if they just look at themselves they’ll see that while maybe things were pretty black and dark around them, that they have been positive in helping create who they are.

So this Thanksgiving week, lets all remember the good things. I am Thankful you all and for the things around me. And I am thankful to a God who put you all in my life and put me in these circumstances.

Happy Thanksgiving Day everyone! And Thanks~

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